Firstly, there was Mark, a British guy who believed that “cultural immersion” meant wearing a traditional Hanfu to a staff meeting. He showed up in a silk robe, insisting it was “authentic,” while the rest of us were still trying to figure out how to pronounce the word for “tea.” His attempt at a Chinese accent? A disaster. “Nǐ hǎo,” he’d say, only to follow it with a British “cheerio.” The students didn’t know whether to laugh or call the police.
Secondly, let’s talk about Priya, an Indian teacher who thought “team-building” meant forcing everyone to play cricket in the schoolyard. She’d drag us out at 4 p.m., yelling about “the spirit of the game” while we all stared at her like she’d lost her mind. The kids were confused, the principal was baffled, and I’m pretty sure one of the janitors started a petition. It was like a scene from a comedy, but with more grass stains.
Thirdly, there was James, a guy from Texas who once tried to teach a lesson on “American independence” by pulling out a flag and shouting, “We don’t need no stinkin’ rules!” The students, who’d just learned about the Three-Character Classic, were stunned. His lesson plan? A 10-minute rant about the “Great Wall of China being just a bunch of bricks.” I’ve never seen a room full of kids so confused.
Fourthly, let’s not forget Karen, a Canadian who thought “cultural sensitivity” meant wearing a hijab every day for a week. She’d walk around the campus, clutching a yoga mat and muttering about “inner peace.” The problem? She’d also brought her pet iguana, “Mr. Scales,” to work. The kids were thrilled, the staff was horrified, and the principal finally banned all pets. “It’s not a zoo,” he said. Karen replied, “But it’s a *school*,” and left.
Fifthly, there was Tom, a guy from New Zealand who believed in the “no rules” philosophy. He’d show up late, forget his lesson plans, and once tried to teach a class on “how to build a better mousetrap” using a broken printer. The students were confused, the parents were frustrated, and I’m still not sure if he ever actually taught anything. His final lesson? A PowerPoint on “The Art of Napping.”
Sixthly, let’s talk about Sofia, a Spanish teacher who thought “language learning” meant yelling at students in a mix of Spanish and English. “¡No entiendo!” she’d scream, then switch to, “What’s wrong with you?” The kids were terrified, the other teachers were exasperated, and I’m pretty sure one student started crying. Sofia’s final lesson? A 20-minute rant about “why the students don’t respect the language.”
Seventhly, there was Brian, a guy from the UK who believed that “professional development” meant watching *The Office* in the staff room. He’d drag everyone into a room, yell, “This is a *comedy*!” and then proceed to reenact every scene. The kids would peek in, the principal would sigh, and I’d wonder if I’d accidentally joined a cult.
Eighthly, the pièce de résistance: Sarah, a teacher from Australia who once tried to teach a lesson on “Australian culture” by bringing in a kangaroo plushie and a bag of Tim Tams. She’d say, “This is how we celebrate!” while the kids stared at her like she’d just revealed she was from Mars. The principal finally banned all “unauthorized cultural items,” but Sarah just shrugged and said, “It’s all in good fun.”
When I think back, the worst colleagues weren’t just the ones who messed up—they were the ones who made me question why I’d ever left home. But let’s be real: teaching abroad is a rollercoaster. If you’re considering it, remember that your coworkers might be a mix of genius, chaos, and the occasional person who thinks a croissant is a “cultural artifact.” Still, if you’re up for the adventure, *Find Work Abroad: Find Work Abroad* is a great place to start. After all, who needs a normal life when you can have a story like mine?
As Liang, a student who’s endured my worst moments, once said, “Miss, you’re like a teacher from a movie. Sometimes I think I’m in a comedy, sometimes I think I’m in a nightmare.” And Sarah, the teacher who once tried to teach with a kangaroo plushie, added, “If you’re not laughing, you’re not living. And if you’re not laughing, you’re probably not teaching.”
So, if you’re thinking about teaching abroad, brace yourself for the chaos. The worst colleagues? They’re part of the journey. Just don’t forget to pack a sense of humor—and maybe a few extra lesson plans.
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