My Worst Expat Colleagues as an ESL Teacher in China

The first time I walked into the staff room of my ESL school in Chengdu, I was greeted by a cacophony of accents, mismatched clothing, and a collective energy that felt like a chaotic family reunion. One colleague, a British guy named Martin, had a habit of quoting Shakespeare in the middle of a staff meeting, while another, a French woman named Sophie, insisted on debating the merits of croissants versus baguettes during lunch breaks. It was like a sitcom, but with more caffeine and fewer laughs. My worst ex-pat colleagues weren’t just memorable; they were the kind of people who made you question whether you’d accidentally joined a comedy troupe instead of a teaching program.

But the real chaos began when I met Greg, an American who believed that “cultural immersion” meant wearing a panda costume to a school event. He once tried to teach a lesson on Chinese festivals by donning a red dragon costume and attempting a tai chi routine, only to trip over his own feet and end up in a heap of confetti. The students were more amused than confused, but the principal was less than impressed. Greg’s antics were a masterclass in how to turn a classroom into a circus, and I couldn’t help but wonder if his résumé had a section titled “Unintentional Comedy.”

Then there was Maria, a Spanish teacher who thought “chill” meant “ignore the weather.” One winter, she showed up to class in a tank top and shorts, claiming she was “used to the heat.” When I asked if she’d ever been to a place with snow, she blinked and said, “I’ve seen a snow globe.” Her lack of adaptability was both endearing and alarming, like a character from a children’s book who’s never read the rules. I often wondered if she’d accidentally applied for a job in a tropical country and had to wing it.

The most surreal experience, though, was working with Tom, an Australian who thought “negotiating” meant shouting louder than the person across the table. During a staff meeting about curriculum changes, he stormed in with a PowerPoint titled “Why Your Ideas Are Crap.” His presentation was a 20-minute rant about how “local teachers don’t get it,” which ended with him storming out mid-sentence. The rest of us sat in stunned silence, wondering if we’d accidentally joined a reality show. Tom’s presence was like a thunderstorm in a quiet library—unpredictable and slightly terrifying.

There was also Linda, a Canadian who believed that “team-building” meant forcing everyone to play charades. One afternoon, she dragged us into a game where we had to act out idioms without speaking. When I tried to act out “hit the sack,” I ended up lying on the floor in a dramatic heap, which Linda interpreted as “sleeping.” She gave me a standing ovation, and I realized that some people’s definitions of teamwork are just… bizarre. Linda’s enthusiasm was contagious, even if her game rules were as fluid as a toddler’s attention span.

The highlight of my expat experience, however, was meeting Rachel, a British teacher who thought “cultural sensitivity” meant pretending to be Chinese. She once tried to teach a lesson on Chinese cuisine by whipping up a pot of noodles in the staff room, only to burn it so badly that the fire alarm went off. When the fire department arrived, she greeted them with a cheerful, “I’m just trying to make a point about culinary passion!” Rachel’s blend of enthusiasm and cluelessness was a reminder that sometimes, the worst colleagues are the ones who make the best stories.

If you’re considering teaching abroad, be prepared for a mix of chaos and charm. My worst ex-pat colleagues taught me that expat life is like a buffet—you never know what you’ll get, but it’s always worth trying. For those looking to dive into this adventure, [Find Work Abroad: Find Work Abroad](https://www.findworkabroad.com) is a treasure trove of opportunities, though I highly recommend pairing it with a sense of humor and a thick skin. After all, teaching in a foreign country isn’t just about lessons and textbooks; it’s about navigating the absurdity of human behavior with grace—and maybe a few backup lesson plans.

In the end, my worst ex-pat colleagues became the highlight of my time in China. Their quirks, missteps, and eccentricities turned mundane moments into unforgettable memories. Teaching ESL in China wasn’t just a job; it was a masterclass in resilience, laughter, and the unpredictable beauty of cultural exchange. If you’re thinking about taking the plunge, remember that while the journey might be filled with chaos, it’s also a chance to grow, connect, and maybe even learn how to survive a panda costume mishap. As for me? I’ll stick to the lesson plans… and maybe a backup pair of shoes.

Categories:
Worst,  Colleagues,  Meant,  Staff,  Teaching,  Lesson,  Expat,  Teacher,  China,  Meeting,  Accidentally,  Chaos,  Costume,  Tried,  Chinese,  Thought,  Findworkabroad,  Maybe,  School,  Greeted,  British,  Named,  During,  Joined,  Comedy,  Believed,  Panda,  Teach,  Masterclass,  Titled,  Never,  Rules,  Experience,  Though,  Ended,  Linda,  Enthusiasm,  Highlight,  Trying,  Backup,  First,  Walked,  Chengdu,  Dearing, 

Add Comment